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The National Council of Psychotherapists

Est. 1971

 

YOU CAN HAVE A VIRUS FREE MIND

 

THE NEW DISCOVERY FOR HAPPY, LOVING, HEALTHY, SUCCESSFUL LIVING.

 COPYRIGHT: GERARD SHEEHY

 COMPLETED BOOK: 40,000 WORDS

 Contents

Chapter 1 - Your Wonderful, Blocked Potential                               

Chapter 2 - The Formation of Virus-Thoughts

Chapter 3 - How Virus-Thoughts are Activated

 

VIRUS-THOUGHTS

 

CHAPTER 1

 

YOUR WONDERFUL,

BLOCKED POTENTIAL

 

Here is the place where the way divides itself into two parts. Virgil, Æneid, 6, 540.

 

Sometimes I watch trains go by and all the fleeting faces and I think: there goes another trainload bursting with potential. That is not a strange thought because we human beings have immense potential - or capacity if you prefer that word — for love and relationship, achievement, health and long age, and inner peace. It is waiting to flow and to give us a good life. The potential comes with being human. It is part of the package that is you or your husband or whoever. And, in fact, most people have an instinctive feel that there is great-undeveloped potential within them.

 

When your potential isn’t flowing, or is flowing in one area of your life but not others, it is blocked off by virus-thoughts. In this book I tell you what you need to know about these thoughts, and — the good news — how to eradicate them.

 

 

YOUR BIG POTENTIAL FOR LOVE

 

We are born with the need for air, liquid, food and love. As we grow the need for love changes into the need to love and be loved. If you give away some of your money — or of anything else — you now have less. But love is the exception. It grows in the giving. The more you love, the more you have available to give and the more loving a person you become — the writings of Norman Vincent Peale (author of “The Power of Positive Thinking”) contain some of the best proofs of this.

 

Our potential for love can and does take many forms other than in a one-to-one intimate relationship — which we all want to be rich and ever flourishing. A very few examples are: generosity, loyalty, compassion — ‘If I can stop one heart from breaking / I shall not live in vain,’ wrote Emily Dickinson; self-sacrifice, honesty —‘No legacy is so rich as honesty’ Shakespeare wrote in “All’s Well That Ends Well’.

 

When the Founding Fathers wrote into the Bill of Rights of the U.S. Constitution that ‘all men’ (‘all’ meant that slaves were not excluded) had the right to ‘the pursuit of happiness’, they were giving expression to love on a national scale.

Thoreau, author of “Walden” and friend of Emerson, wrote ‘Most men lead lives of quiet desperation’. That need not apply to you when you deeply love and are loved in a relationship.

 

 

YOUR BIG POTENTIAL FOR ACHIEVEMENT

 

Many books have been written by many people to help us realise our potential in many areas - such as winning friends (Dale Carnegie), improving our learning ability (Tony Buzan) speaking confidently (Meribeth Bunch). We are “designed” to achieve and we get great satisfaction from it. Hanging around does not fulfil us.

 

The 20th century is overflowing with achievements: splitting the atom, identifying the D.N.A. molecule, the gene revolution, medical transplants and laser surgery, aeroplanes and spacecraft, television and the silicon chip...

 

There is a danger when reading the previous paragraph of downgrading your own potential. Please don’t. William James, psychologist and philosopher, often stated that the average woman or man uses only 10% of the mind. Donald Wilson M.D. in his book “Total Mind Power” works on the same premise. The most ordinary person beside you in the subway may be the future’s most brilliant businessperson, painter, writer ….  or it may be you.

It is often said that many adults never grow up and are trapped in arrested development. That phrase is no use to anybody unless we can say why. The “why” is that their potential has been blocked from flowing.

 

‘Democracy is the form of government in which the free are rulers” - so wrote Aristotle in the 4th century B.C. All through history humankind has yearned to achieve such freedom, and still does today. Americans achieved it between 1776 and 1787. Much later (in 1913) President Woodrow Wilson had this to say: ‘America was not established to create wealth, but to realise a vision, to realise an ideal -  to discover and maintain liberty among men’. If you live in the U.S. (arguably the freest nation on earth) it is good to be aware that daily you are helping to keep that achievement alive. And thereby to permit many movements (such as women’s rights and civil rights) to flourish.

 

YOUR BIG POTENTIAL FOR HEALTH AND LONG LIFE

 

Your body contains seven main systems: the immune, the endocrine, the automatic nervous, the parasympathetic nervous, the circulatory, the digestive and the healing. The last is also referred to as the life instinct or the biological mechanism to live.

 

I had a client aged 43 who was diagnosed as having inoperable cancer and given a few months to live. He told me he could feel himself absorbing the death sentence shock of the specialist’s words, and astonished himself by shouting ‘No way Jose”. Many years earlier — when he had acute eczema — he had a positive experience with a healer. Now he went to the healer again, who did little more than lay hands on him and rub oils on him, while praying. My client left in the firm belief that he was now free of cancer forever. Subsequent events proved this to be the case. The healer, using unorthodox methods, had eradicated the virus-thought — more on this later.

 

There are comparable examples in many texts. One of them is in Deepak Chopra’s “Quantum Healing”. He had a patient, a middle-aged lady, who had inoperable cancer. She left his clinic (you need to read the book to get the details) in the firm belief that she was well and would remain so. And that is exactly how her life was.

 

Just as you have the potential to recover from a disease like cancer, so also you have the potential to enjoy good health and well-being. Carl Rogers was one of the most esteemed practising and research psychologists of the 20th century. In “Client-Centred Therapy” (one of his many books) he says we have an inherent tendency to search for the greatest possible self.actualization, which is a psychological term for growth of the personality and maintenance of good health

 

I’m sure it’s no surprise to you when I say that mental state comes into the ageing process. If the state is negative your mind will play witch-doctor with your body. But the welcome news is that you can be rid of any ageing virus and let your potential for longevity flow. (At times throughout this book I use the word “virus” instead of “virus-thought”).

 

One person who did not have an ageing virus at work within him is Lewis Shattuck. I just happened to read of him in the July 22  2001 edition of “NEWSDAY”, the L.I. paper. Born in N.Y., June 26, 1901, he graduated in Fine Arts, was a public school teacher for much of his life, lives with his wife in his own home at Hampton Bays, plays piano with the Southampton Swingers Band and celebrated his 100th birthday with family and friends at John Deck’s Restaurant in Southampton.

Modern medical practice and research is wonderful, but our potential for longevity does not depend on it. There are several authentic records of long-livers in centuries past. One such was Thomas Parr whose cottage still stands near Middletown in Shropshire. Born in 1483 he farmed until he was 130 years old. By the time he reached the age of 152 he had lived through the reigns of ten Kings and Queens, and to mark such an event King Charles I invited him to London. He died there some months later in 1635, and was given the honour of being buried in Westminster Abbey.

 

YOUR BIG POTENTIAL FOR INNER PEACE

 

This comes as a result of achieving your other potentials, above all a loving relationship, and to a lesser extent achievement and great good health.

 

 

A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU

 

On a scale of 0 to 10 how do you rate yourself in the areas of love and relationship, achievement and health? Don’t settle for a mediocre score — you have only one life to live. Like I said at the beginning, most people realise at some level of consciousness that they have much untapped potential within them. This book is to enable you —without any huge amount of work on your part — to remove the virus blocks and let flow your potential for a good life.

 

HOW I DISCOVERED THAT YOUR POTENTIAL IS BLOCKED BY VIRUS-THOUGHTS, AND ALSO HOW TO ERADICATE THEM

 

When I was a teenager (and a member of a family which was big-time dysfunctional before I was even born) my schoolteacher father gave me a book “Psychology for Teachers” by C.L. Morgan. By the time I got to finish it I was hooked into finding solutions to problems that blocked happiness. This led me, in my twenties, to spending six wonderful years in therapy. The therapist (he is a medical doctor, a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a psychotherapist and a bit of a saint) used a gas which put me into an altered state of consciousness and allowed me to trawl around my own unconscious.

 

Afterwards I became a part-time psychotherapist helping a wide range of people until 1980, by which time I had abandoned my first career (business), taken an M.A. in psychology (my first degree was in both mechanical and electrical engineering), and commenced full-time practice. As of now I reckon I have practised (currently my practice is in Dublin) almost 40,000 hours of one-to-one therapy.

 

Along the way I had big help from my best pal, Kathryne, whose husband I am. She is a counsellor, and blessed with a restless enquiring mind.

 

In different ways the following are some of the writers who helped to move my thinking forward.. Freud and Jung, who partially opened up our unconscious for examination. Karen Homey, Carl Rogers, Arthur Janov. Stanislav Grof, John Bradshaw, Albert Ellis, William Glasser, Victor Frankl. Ann Dickson, Erich Fromm, Abraham Maslow, Alice Miller, Virginia Satir, Thomas Harris, Theodore Reik, Susan Forward, William James, Irvin Yalom, Jeffirey Masson, Susan Jeffers and Bernie Siegel. I am grateful to them, as I am to Gutenberg, whose invention made possible the printing of books — he isn’t ranked with Galileo but maybe he deserves to be.

I started full-time practice resolving to go for 100% success with each client. That meant discovering the root or roots of each person’s problems and eradicating them. That in turn meant, between the visits of each client, a truly ginormous amount of thinking and reaching conclusions. These conclusions were then tested, and bit by bit either rejected or found to be valid. Tortoise-like I advanced. Sometimes I got down-hearted and in need of escape to the sea, but thankfully rarely. I codified all the component parts of my discovery on virus-thoughts, and spent 10 years using it and experientially proving it, with clients. Persons using this book can prove it for themselves, and see that when virus-thoughts are eradicated, problems go and potential flows automatically.

 

When Macbeth was suffering from black depression he begged in vain for help from his doctor. Through all my laborious years of discovery I kept these words in front of me (because I felt there had to be a solution):

 

‘Canst thou not minister to a mind diseas’d;

 Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow;

Raze out the written troubles of the brain.’

 

(Shakespeare  — Macbeth)

 

 

I WROTE THIS BOOK BECAUSE.

 

I kept putting it off until in Queens N.Y., September 2000, I sipped coffee in the cool of La Guardia with a dedicated political foot soldier. He told me there were 187 languages spoken in the Borough and was puzzled and frustrated as to how to really connect with each ethnic group before election day, November 7. But I thought (and kept my thoughts to myself) how wonderful it would be to offer such human diversity a new doorway to happiness. So I resolved to write.

 

This book will bring you also to a new doorway to happiness, and will enable you to go through it.

 

Circumstances have brought me a large cross-section of American clients, but confidentiality has to be total in psychotherapy, so this book is written in such a way (including using fictitious names) that the rule is never breached.

 

The book not only shows you how to eradicate virus-thoughts which block your wonderful potential, but also moves us all (at last) out of the Freudian view of the person, and on to a much different and larger canvas detailing who the human person is.

 

CHAPTER 2

 

THE FORMATION OF VIRUS-THOUGHTS

 

When we have a thought that is too traumatic for us to keep in our conscious mind —usually because it is  so damaging to our self-worth or so frightening -  we automatically (i.e. the action is involuntary and spontaneous) suppress it. A quiet woman patient of mine was given this thought at age 13 by her older, domineering and jealous sister:

 

‘People don’t like you.. .you never, ever will be popular’. In a state-of-shock reaction she suppressed the too-awful-to-contemplate thought.

 

The virus-thought goes into the suppression chamber of our unconscious, and once there is not only out of our awareness, but is not recallable by ordinary methods.

 

 

Conscious Mind

 

 

Unconscious Mind

 

 

Suppression Chamber

 

 

 

 

Unlike what is in your suppression chamber, what is in the unconscious mind is recallable ‘ do you remember’ a woman might say ‘over 40 years ago at our first party I got you to steal all your mother’s cosmetics?’ And it all comes easily back into consciousness for the listener.

 

The more traumatic the thought is for us, the more intensely it is suppressed. A woman patient was, at age 8, forced regularly to masturbate orally her father. The thought formed then, ‘I’m filthy, dirty’ was very intensely suppressed.

 

THE SUPPRESSION CHAMBER

 

The fact that we have such a chamber, and that it contains damaging thoughts which have been formed out of our life experiences, is new news. Countless lives have been and are being blighted for lack of knowledge of it: a married lady, in good physical and mental health, highly educated, as striking to look at as any of the girls in “Riverdance”, came to me suffering from severe agoraphobia. She was housebound, except when her husband drove her to the shopping mall, and then remained right next to her. ‘I’m OK in the house’ she said ‘but when I try to leave it alone I go to pieces.. .1 don’t know what comes over me’. After I had told her about the suppression chamber I said ‘I don’t know yet what virus-thought or thoughts are in it. But it is they are blocking your potential to be out and about and enjoying life’.

 

Sadly Freud unknowingly misled more than a century of human beings, by asserting (as dogma) that suppression results not from life experiences but from conflict (of a highly complex nature) between our conscious thoughts and one or more of what he considered to be our basic, and blind, instincts (sex, aggression, and death).

 

I need to tell you about other Freudian errors relating to the suppression chamber, because Freud’s influence was so great that he created a climate of opinion which still permeates many books and films and many of the glossy magazines and TV. programmes and many a lecture theatre.

 

He asserted that women carry permanent deeply buried self-inferiority in the suppression chamber — he preferred the word “repression” — because they suffer the incurable condition of “penis envy”, which is a yearning to have the same genitals as the male.

 

If you are a woman and your potential isn’t flowing, don’t let anybody tell you that penis envy is the block.

 

Freud asserted that suppressed material went into the suppression chamber during these 4 stages of life: oral (baby stage); anal (age 1 to 2); phallic (age 4) and Oedipus Complex (age 4 to 5). But in reality there is no shortage of suppression long after age 5.

 

The oral is the breastfeeding time, and if not done to near perfection (Freud asserted) will produce an adult who seeks pleasure aggressively. Experiential work does not bear out this Freudian tenet.

 

The anal is the toilet training time. If the child is hurried and not allowed to hold on to the faeces when it is in the mood to do so, it will become an “anal-retentive” adult, miserly about money, and pernickety about most everything in life. So Freud said. A miserly client came to me after his wife left him, saying she could take no more when he refused to replace a threadbare carpet. When young his father, an excitable, doom and gloom type, burst into their apartment one winter’s night and shouted two things: ‘We’re going to be evicted in seven days’ and ‘We’re all going to starve’. The shock-horror thought “I’m going to starve” was intensely suppressed by the young boy, and was the block to ordinary adult-style money management.

 

The phallic stage is when the child, at about age 4, becomes aware of its genitals and gets sensations of pleasure from examining them after a bath or opposite a mirror. If reprimanded by a parent, the child, in Freud’s view, becomes an adult with suppressed sexuality. This can happen, yes, but not for certain. Also there can be many other blocks to our potential for adult sexuality: this suppressed thought - ‘Sex will hurt me terribly’ - in a woman client caused her vagina to close tight as a clam.

 

ccording to Freud everybody is afflicted by suppressed Oedipus complex, and it blocks our potential until it is resolved in therapy. It is the most ridiculous of his many absurd propositions, so all I will do is set down how he alleges it comes about: the child desires sexual gratification with the parent of the opposite sex, sees the parent of its own sex as its rival and hates them, and in the case of a boy. fears castration by his father. The trauma is too much for the child, so it suppresses the lot.

 

There are many reasons why Freud came to dominate his chosen field of work, despite writing nonsense such as depicting girls as disappointed boys. One, is the debt we owe him for highlighting the role of the suppressed unconscious in our lives. Another is his concept that adult functioning can be affected by suppressed young life traumas. A further reason is his beautiful literary style. He wrote over three million words, and the standard edition of his works, translated by Strachey and published by the Hogarth Press, ran to 23 volumes — this gave him a great scope for interweaving seductive but inaccurate speculations, some of which are debunked in scholarly fashion by Jeffrey Masson in his book “The Assault On Truth”.

 

 

SUPPRESSION IS NORMAL BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE STUCK WITH IT

 

Suppression is both the proof and the price of our normality. To illustrate this, consider a brain damaged seven year old, who is laughed at by other kids. The mocking does not register, and the seven year old smiles and laughs in return. But once you are normal, traumas do not go “over your head”. They impinge, and when they are too much for us to cope with, we suppress.

 

They are too much for us, most of all when we are young, still being formed and vulnerable. That is why so much suppression occurs between birth and approximately age 18. And it is why none of.us escapes some suppression; no matter how wonderful your childhood you still lived in an imperfect world swarming with imperfect people.

 

At our birth and in our early months we don’t form thoughts, but we do form impressions. A woman client aged 34 working in the City Hall, N.Y., became seriously withdrawn if any male shouted loudly at her. Her face took on a look of great preoccupation. In therapy the impression (put into adult words) ‘I’m in danger’ surfaced from ‘way back there somewhere’. Further on in therapy ‘way back there’ became ‘I keep visualising myself not long born’. She talked with her mother who told her that her father visited them in the maternity hospital when she was four days old, and loudly abused his wife for giving birth to yet another girl in an all-girl family. ‘I’m so relieved’ the client told me, ‘to know why shouting made me all shrivelled

 

It is normal for the volume and intensity of suppression to vary person to person. It will be small for those whose formative years were full of love and security, and large for those who were raised in the midst of dysfunction  - such as the alcoholic household, the constant rubbishing of one’s self-worth, physical or sexual violence, a climate of fear... Because there can be such big differences from one person  to the next in the formative years, one 15 year old girl can be at ease with the opposite sex and enjoy their banter, while her friend is in agonies of shyness and tension and defeat.

 

Further on in this book I deal (as I said at the beginning) with the eradication of virus-thoughts. I’m looking forward to that. I’m sure you must be too. But we have no choice but to hasten slowly.

 

TWO CATEGORIES OF VIRUS-THOUGHTS

 

Virus-thoughts always fall into one or other of these categories: self-inferiority or fear. Sometimes that isn’t fully evident at first sight. Like these three self-inferiority ones: “I don’t belong”, “My Dad’s a fraudster”, and “I can’t be a cool dude”. Or these three fear ones: “Water is deadly dangerous”, “Men will always let you down”, and I’m cursed”.

The “two categories” fact is also new news  -  it is part of my discovery.

 

VIRUS-THOUGHTS ARE UNTRUE

 

Further new and very good news, is that the virus-thoughts of our formative years are 100% false. Self-inferiority viruses are false because nobody on the planet is inferior or superior to anybody else. The worth of the person is a given... It comes with being human... It may not be rubbished. There are people with different talents, intelligence, physique, opportunities, inherited wealth arid disadvantages... These have nothing to do with inferiority or superiority — President Franklin Roosevelt whose polio-stricken legs were worthless is a fine example to take, because he knew he was of great worth, despite his affliction.

 

When life gives a young girl what is, for her, a major traumatic self-inferiority thought — such as “I don’t belong” — her young mind is not equipped to stop and analyse it and decide is it false. It is accepted and suppressed, and all of that mental process can take as little as a microsecond.

 

The young life fear virus is untrue for one of two reasons: (1) either it was never true, (2) or if it was, it isn’t now in changed circumstances. An example of(1) —false because it was never true, but was the product of a vivid imagination: a youth who took part in the accidental killing by fists and boots of another youth in scrubland at the edge of L.A., formed and suppressed an I’m cursed” thought. As an adult he frequently said to me ‘The immediate future is grey. The long term is black’.

 

An example of(2): A girl, late twenties, was a hydrophobic. Taking a shower was a major operation because she went into spasms of terror if she felt the water flowing over her mouth. Driving over a bridge over water, she was as tense as any airline passenger with a fear of flying. Her partner (whose patience was wearing out) said he thought that if she took a major step — he suggested the Staten island ferry — it would fix her. She said to me she thought she might go nuts if she took up his suggestion. This girl at the age of 12 almost drowned, and was unconscious when taken from the water. The thought she formed and suppressed then (before losing consciousness) ‘Water is deadly dangerous’ was perfectly true at the time. But it had no validity and was totally false in the safe circumstances of taking a warm shower. The years had moved on from age 12 to 28, but the fear had remained within her.

1

 

 

Our planet is overpopulated by unnecessary life-denying emotional pain, and immeasurable misery and loneliness and sadness.

 

Unnecessary where viruses are the root cause.

 

ADULT LIFE SUPPRESSION

 

Freud was inaccurate in ignoring the significance of adult life suppression. To him the only significant suppression was that of the oral, anal, phallic and Oedipus Complex stages. So much so that in his book “Totem and Taboo” he allows his views to carry him into science fiction and states that in the Oedipus Complex are to be found the beginnings of the structures of societies, and of morality and religious organisations.

 

Adult suppression is substantially less than young life, because the adult mind is better able to cope with trauma and tends to mull over the hurts and upsets which life dishes out. But should an inferiority virus be formed, it is false for exactly the same reasons as a young life one.

 

If a fear virus is formed it can be the exception to the “All are untrue” statement... A flamboyant male client, James T. Homer III, knew almost two years in advance that his company would go bankrupt, with horrendous financial, family, and social consequences. Sadly, he totally suppressed this fear thought: ‘I’m going bust’. To keep the company afloat he used the net to gamble on shares; engaged in fraudulent trading and falsification of records, which made him ineligible for a Chapter Eleven bail-out and could earn him a jail sentence. In the language of psychology he was in Denial.

 

Do I need to convince anyone how prevalent Denial is in every area of human life?— I doubt it. We all have to be on guard against it, in ourselves, as well as in others.

THE EVENT

 

The formation of any virus-thought is accompanied by an event. The event in the case of a young boy who formed and suppressed the thought “I’m a wimp” was this: being forced into a schoolyard fight, against his will, with the tough guy of the class. When he lay beaten on the stony ground, the tough straddled him, whooped, and called on all to come and see his victory and proclaimed himself to be John Wayne.

 

Events are ordinarily not suppressed, but if horrific enough they are. Then they lie “forgotten” in the suppression chamber and don’t surface again either until therapy, or the person gets a big shock. A male client had no memory of being buggered by his father when young, until he watched a TV. documentary on child abuse in his city (Atlanta). ‘It was like an electric shock,’ he told me ‘Everything came in a flood.. .1 went hysterical...! thought I was being anally penetrated again.. . his dick was so big and shoved so far in I thought it was touching the bottom of my throat’.

 

CHAPTER 3

 

 

HOW VIRUS-THOUGHTS

ARE ACTIVATED

 

Virus-thoughts in the suppression chamber can be dormant (i.e. asleep) in which case they cause us no problems. But once activated they cause problems and block our potential.

 

There are five main ways by which they are activated. One is, Similarity:

 

Charlotte, a lady lawyer whose office near Wall Street specialised in construction clients, became so tense she had to leave the TV. room in her home, whenever there were scenes of domestic violence on the screen. She grew up in a violent household. On one occasion her father, in order to intimidate her mother, stuck the barrel of a revolver into Charlotte’s mouth. The virus “I’m going to die” was intensely suppressed within her.

 

Another way is Time: every December a man called Edward went into a deep depression and couldn’t say why. His family resented his black mood and vocalised their anger. Edward was raised in a family belonging to a small fundamentalist offshoot of the Plymouth Brethren Religion. Even minor transgressions had to be confessed before the Brethren. Santa Claus was never allowed to visit their house. As a little fellow he watched his playmates with the toys Santa brought them and suppressed “I’m bad”. When in adult life talk about Christmas and parties and presents began to build up about the beginning of each December, the virus was activated and a depression took him over. It usually peaked on Christmas day, which he spent slumped and lethargic in an armchair.

 

Place is a further way of triggering a dormant thought — in this example the thought was “I’m full of shame”. It was suppressed by a teenage girl, Jane, when her out-of-work father played the banjo and sang on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. Whenever she had a row with her street friends they would pretend to play a banjo, sing “Hey Good Lookin’” and laugh. When Jane was an adult she wouldn’t go near a boardwalk anywhere, nor did she want to hear the sound of people walking on one. ‘Gives me a bad feeling.., can’t say why,’ was the only explanation she could give to those who considered her behaviour oddball. On a 3-family vacation in Virginia near the Patowmack Canal it led to a nasty row and cost her the friendship of somebody who was precious to her.

 

Body Sensation also triggers a dormant virus: I had a friend, Norman, who “went crazy” if anybody tapped him on the head. It activated the virus “I look stupid”. Nightly between the ages of 7 and 12 his father examined his schoolwork, found fault with almost everything, beat him on the head with a rolled-up newspaper while repeating “Stupid... Stupid... You even look stupid’. Norman, like most everybody, sought his place in the sun, but was denied it by what life experiences had put into his suppression chamber.

 

Contrast can activate a virus that has been dormant: Laura, an only child, lived on the wrong side of the tracks in Boston. Her parents made great sacrifices to send her to a refined Episcopalian-ethos school five miles distant, where she felt socially inferior to most all of the children, who were of well-to-do W.A.S.P. families. Gradually she formed and suppressed this virus.. .“I’m not respected”. Many years later when taking early retirement (in an attempt to save her marriage) from one of the city’s law firms, the senior partner threw a party and made a presentation and a long-winded speech (he was a man who liked listening to himself). During it he said, time and again, that Laura had earned “high respect”, “was greatly respected for her probity”, was “a model for younger staff on how to become respected”... it went on and on. The more the man mentioned “respect”, the more Laura tensed-up, squirmed, smiled awkwardly at the room-full of colleagues, and felt ready to scream. The mechanism at work within Laura was this: When the senior partner, in front of the entire staff, held up a verbal billboard stating that Laura was highly respected it activated the very opposite thought buried in her suppression chamber.

 

The mechanism described tells why we meet people who cannot accept praise. In their suppression chamber there is some virus which tells them they don’t merit praise.

 

More than one triggering mechanism can be at work at the same time. In this example it is Place and Similarity: Melissa (a client) told me she was getting along fine with her boyfriend Karl until he took her for a drive into a wooded area in Oregon. ‘It was my first and last sexual experience with him’. In a leafy nook, hidden from the sun and the blue sky, we stripped off... His body was covered all over with, thick red hair... As soon as he lay on top of me I began to go crazy with fear... I pushed him off, got on my clothes and ran back to the car... That was the end of that relationship.’ Depth therapy uncovered the following: when she was nine her 22 year old cousin, Neels (whom she trusted), took her into a wood and forced her to strip. When he was trying to penetrate her, two thoughts were in her mind: terror that he would strangle her, and the woolly red hair all over his body.

 

To add further subtlety to the activation process: a virus-thought can remain dormant for decades  - I have many instances of this in my research. Here again Freud was in error. With the exception of the mythical Oedipus Complex  - which he stated was latent between approximately ages 5 and 11  - anything suppressed was, he asserted, also active.

 

All set out in this chapter on triggering virus-thoughts is more new news. And is another component part of my discovery.

 

Chapters 4 & 5 will be published in the next edition of Fidelity

 

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